automaticfangs

Are you on the list?

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 20:33:00 GMT

I decided to get a new journal.

http://PrecognitiveArt.livejournal.com/

peace.

A glass can only spill what it contains...

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 22:34:36 GMT

What new mystery is this?
in overflowing emptiness---
the Invisible is seen among the shadows and the mist,
before my doubting eyes the Infinite appears in time-
the Unquestionable is questioned but makes no reply!

Wires no more!

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 11:37:35 GMT

I got my braces off yesterday!

I'm so happy!

EDIT: 9:52 p.m.---

I feel like crap.
I saw the guy I like today, whom I haven't seen in two months, and Then I found out he has a boyfriend.

It makes me feel really useless, for some reason.

Deviant.

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 02:52:44 GMT

http://coyotebones.deviantart.com/

Mobsters.

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 17:56:57 GMT

Last night, I had a dream about falling in love with a 1920's Gangster.

That's all I have to say.

Space is not just a place for stars.

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 20:58:28 GMT

The first time that I met him I was throwing up in the ladies room stall. he asked me if I needed anything; I said, “I think I spilled my drink”. And that’s how it started (or so I’d like to believe)...

he took me to his mother’s house outside of town where the stars hang down. he said he’d never seen someone so lost, I said I’d never felt so found – and then I kissed him on the cheek... and so he kissed me on the mouth.

Spring was poppin’ daises up ‘round rusted trucks and busted lawn chairs. We moved into a studio in Council Bluffs to save a couple bucks. Where the mice came out at night, neighbors were screaming all the time. We’d make love in the afternoons to Chelsea Girls and Bachelor No. 2, I’d play for him some songs I wrote, he’d joke and say I’m shooting through the roof, I’d say, “They’re all for you, dear, I’ll write the album of the year.”

And I know he loved me then, I swear to God he did. It's the way he’d bite my lower lip and push his hips against my hips and dig his nails so deep into my skin.

The first time that I met him I was convinced I had finally found the one. he was convinced I was under the influence of all those drunken romantics – I was reading Fante at the the time – I had bukowski on the mind. he got a job at Jacob’s serving cocktails to the local drunks. Against his will. I fit the the bill: I perched down at the end of the bar, he Said, “Space is not just a place for stars – I gave you an inch, you went a half of a yard.” And I know he loved me once, but those days are gone. he used to call me everyday from a pay phone on his break for lunch – just to say he can’t wait to come home.

The last time that I saw him, he was picking through which records were his. His clothes were packed in boxes, with some pots and pans and books and a toaster. Just then a mouse scurried across the floor...we started laughing ‘til it didn’t hurt.

ugh.

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 22:34:34 GMT

I need to do something.
get out.
go see a movie.
go to a show.

I've been watching wayyyy too much Drawn Together.

(awesome show.)

:D

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 01:11:18 GMT

"Fair Lady, please tell me your name."
"...And what would you do with my name? If you wish, call me a fox, because that is all I am."

Today was okay, I guess. I baked cupcakes,which was fun. But I haven't been feeling too great lately, and I don't like it. I need a hug. Usually listening to music helps, but It didn't today. I felt lost and confused, for some odd reason. I went on a walk after school, and then my brother went on a search for 'Wolverine' claws, but we didn't find any. Tomorrow I'm going to a show, so that might make me feel better, but i doubt it.

We never met, you and I.
We were always, somewhere inside one another.

And I'll live without you, Love,
but what good is one glove, without the other?

Still You only ask about my leaving,
Oh, but honey, I had no choice, so
I call (and when you hear that heavy breathing)
for that sound of your voice.

But you sit there silent, folded arms,
And look down as I walk by.
Though my face has changed, you know it's me.
You know by the stillness in my eyes.
Come and whisper in my ear, "you're very pretty, Dear" and
"it'll be alright." You're lying!
But I don't mind tonight.

So I wander, and I wander.
Your absence beating inside my chest.
I try but I can't remember
The color of your eyes- just the shape of your dress.

And through a garden overgrown

Oh, it's a long walk home.
I said I'd not come back.

Well, I'm coming back- and you'd better be alone.

Mercredi, Le 18 Octobre 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 10:32:28 GMT

Oh, It's an early morning today. It feels like I didn't sleep at all last night.
I have PSAT's today, which isn't too good,
because I'm probably going to fall asleep.
But it's kind of good, because I get to miss first and second mod.

On a better note, I've started painting again,
which was great, because it had been four months since
I've done anything Art-wise. I have an art class next semester,
so hopefully that will help some too.

I'm quite obsessed with listening to MewithoutYou.
The Lyrics are amazing, and the singer's voice is too.
I've downloaded some songs, but I must go out and buy
"Catch For Us The Foxes",and "Brother-Sister",
when I have the time and money.
Ugh. I might be getting a job as a bus girl at the Full Moon Bar,
and that will give me some cash.

I have to get ready for school,
so I'll right more tomorrow.
I leave you with these Words from Aaron Weiss.

-Kris.
^{My exit unobserved,and my homesickness absurd...
I said "water" expecting the Word would satisfy my thirst,
Talking all about the second and third
When I haven't understood the first.

Jonah, where's that boat going...your ship set with eager sails?
There's a swirling storm soon blowing, and no use, fishermen,
In rowing from the consecrated whale!

And she'd always weight me down,
But, afraid I might need her, I dragged her around,
It's best to keep close sackcloth and ash in a whitewashed town;
She wore that phony smile on her face,
I guess like a bandage on a wounded place,
While I kept the keys to every old lock just in case.

Rehearsed indifference tossed aside,
Our narrow arms spread wide,
"What unseen pen etched eternal things on the hearts of human kind...
But never let them in our minds?"

Oh, the clouds they brought a darkness and a hard rain's gonna fall,
And all my laughter ends in emptiness and a hard rain's gonna fall.
My every medicine causes more illness and a hard rain's gonna fall,
And until I let you go I didn't know, you were never mine...
You were never mine at all.

But now I spend my days in ever-increasingly complicated ways,
Convincing myself of the rightness of each word I say.
My exit, unfair if unobserved!

Ya sabur, subhannallahi, a'udhu billahi minash-shaitanir-rajim,
al-hamdu lilllah, bismillahir rahmanir rahim.

(" Oh Most Patient, Glory be to Thee,I seek refuge in you from Satan the accursed. Praise be to God. In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Compassionate/Merciful." )}

Mardi, Le 9 Octobre, 2006.

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:16:07 GMT

Another Glorious week has come and gone, but Last week wasn't as great as it was supposed to be. I still didn't Get to See "The Science of Sleep" like I've been wanting to for the past month. I hope my plans don't fall through this weekend, and I will have two Amazing days.

Saturday:

Say Anything, Mewithoutyou, & Piebald at the Recher Theatre.

Sunday:

"The Science of Sleep" with Amanda, and possibly my brother.

I hope it works out.

Hair Dye and Say Anything.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 23:27:21 GMT

Okay, So this Week pretty much owns.

Today, I got my tickets to go see Say Anything, MeWithoutYou, and Piebald on Oct. 14 with Amanda, so that should be a pretty awesome show. Tomorrow, I get to Skip Personal Fitness class to paint, and after that I'm going to watch Finding Nemo in french with Rachael.

On Thursday, we get out early, and I'm stoked for that. Friday Interms come out >.<, and I might go see 'Employee of The Month'.
On Saturday, I'm doing nothing really, and on Sunday, I'm going with Katie, who's coming up from West Virginia to see 'The Science of Sleep'.

Right Now, I'm dying my hair blonde.

I'm actually happy, for once.

: D

XOXOX

fifteen things.

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 01:27:52 GMT

1) List 15-ish things that you want to say to people, but never will.

2) Don't say who they are.

3) Never discuss it again.

1. I wish you would move back. It's very sad here without you, and your support, eventhough I talk to you everyday. I know sometimes we disagree on things, but I think that's what makes our friendship special, and meaningful. I hope we stay good friends for a long time, and I'm glad your there all the time for me, eventhough it might not seem like I mean that. I'm often jealous of you, because of how you have the confidence to deal with your problems and being sad, and I don't. But either way, I still love you.

2. Dear Girl-down-the-lane, I'm glad you're one of my best friends. We've gotten really close over the past year, and I'm glad to have spent all the time I have, with you. (which is basically every waking moment.) I love your personality and your humor, which makes me happy when I'm sad. You and I have had some good times, like our first real time we hung out at the battle of the bands, and up to now, like the moments with Francis. I hope we stay good friends. <33

3. Wow. I don't even know where to begin with you. You're older, skinnier, and everyone loves you. Everytime I see someone who knows you, they always come up to me and say - 'Wow! you're his sister? you two don't seem like it." It kind of pisses me off, in a way.You've been a good mentor, though it doesn't seem like it, and I thank you. Between the threats and the 'Shut-the-fuck-up's you're a really good friend. that's what counts, I guess.

4. Hey, you. You've been nice to me, ever since my first day in high school. I love how kind you were to me, and treated me as an equal, eventhough you're 4 years older. I love how you don't care what other people think of you.If I ever need anything "special" I'll come to you, and your other. ^_^

5. Dear Mr. __________. You are something. I haven't seen you in a while, but The times we've spent together were fun. I don't know you too much, but I hope that will change over the course of the next two years.

6. Well, well, well. I guess it's safe to say I like you on here. I know i couldn't say it anywhere else, for fear of embarassment. You're in one of my reoccuring dreams, and it's a bit odd.You're older then me, and I've Never had a good relationship with you. I wish you best of luck in school.

7. Well, Mr. I-know-everything-about-everything. You may not know it, but I've had a few inside jokes about you, and a minor crush on you, eventhough you're a cruel, and emotionless man. you caught my eye and every were quite kind to me, once. I hope you have a good year, and I wish you would try not to be so--so--ehh. Au revoir.

8. Mr. Sunshine. you probably don't have a Myspace, and the memory of me is a slight one. I'm just that one chick at the book club table. You, my friend, are adorable. I hope we can talk more, maybe I'll trip you in the hallway and help you up. I guess that'll work.

9. You are a good friend. I'm glad I have you in most of my classes, and you're their for support. I hope your relationship lasts a long time, and I hope you feel better.

10. Well, I haven't seen you in quite some time. I sohuld really call you. you are truly an amazing person, and you are very kind. I love your bubbly personality, and sense of life. I hope i get to see you soon.

11. The same with you. You're very crazy and random and that's why i love you. I remember when I met you in our English class, and you thought I was crazy. you were right. you have a good sense of people.

12. Wow, you probably won't read this, because you don't know me, or even my name. Last winter, I met you, and I thought you were the greatest person alive, I'm not that ignorant anymore, but I still admire you.

13. For the last time. no. but maybe sometime down the road.

14. Oh. Here's some tips for you. 1- get a life, and stop being a groupie. 2- Learn to get your own personality. and 3- None of your friends like you, don't you get it? oh, yeah, your hair sucks.

15. I wonder if you're nice to me because you have to be. I hope that's not the case.

XOXO -Kris.

Aughh.

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 04:33:47 GMT

I guess This is the only place I can write my feelings, and events in my life.

Okay, If anyone knows about dreams, could someone please explain mine to me.

I've been having reoccuring dreams, but they've been about strange things, and strange people I wouldn't have expected to show up in my dreams. the cast includes a person who I used to see in the hallway every day during school. He'd wave, and I'd wave,they'd maybe be an occasional "hello." I'd never been attracted to him. But he's been in every one of my re-occuring dreams. From all the books I looked up, I think it most likely means he represents a "Character" or "trait" that I find to need. That confuses me. I understand the symbolism. Why Him? why not any other person with that "Trait"? (which I still have yet to find out.) Or maybe he simply means nothing. just a character in my imagination. (Which I find likely).

All of this probably means nothing, but it really,really bugs me.

-Kris.

now, friends only.

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 23:49:58 GMT

Say Anything.

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 15:39:40 GMT

I don't feel to Peachy right now, folks.
Apparently, Brandon has Known all along,
that I have "Feelings" towards him.
(notice the "quotes.")

And I can understand if he doesn't want to talk to me,
but I don't get to talk to him as much as I would like as it is.
So, I haven't talked to him in a while... and I might not even get to see him, because I don't know if I'm going down Katie's on the 21st.

Blehhh.

-Kris, the Loser.

All the words in my mouth,
that the scene deemed unworthy of letting out,
banded together to form a makeshift militia.
and burrowed bloodily through my tongue and my teeth.

I stood proud in the gallery with my open socket of a mouth for them to see.
They all just laughed and said:
"That boy , he, that boy's got woe. He lives with woe."

And this girl who I met whose pride makes her hard to forget,
She took pity on me (horizontally) but most likely because of my band.
It's all I can get when I'm lonely and these visions of death seem to own me

In the quiet of the classrooms all across the stacked United States of Woe.
We live with woe.

She said "I can't get laid in this town without these pointy fucking shoes.
My feet are so black and blue and so are you."

Please take me out of my body up through the palm trees
to smell California in sweet hypocrisy.
Floating. My senses surround my body.
I wake my nose to smell that ocean burn.
So now I'm forging ahead past all the plutocrats who sold me out.
Go sob in your bed.

If life is twice as pretty once you're dead then send me a card.
I'm still the optimist though it is hard when all you want to be is in a dream.

RAWR.

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 20:35:26 GMT

Lyrics for you and I.

You'll Rebel to Anything - Mindless Self Indulgence

It's time you invested in a bottle of poison.
So we don't have to hear about you bitching and moaning.
You think you could afford a fucking bottle of asprin.

Boo fuckin hoo, you're not the only one whose life's a piece of shit.
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it.
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists?
in fact I think that everyone thinks you're seriously full of shit.

You don't mean it.

You need a uniform--
So you won't be ignored.
You are affected so you're accepted.

Pow. Motherfuckers.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 21:29:37 GMT

POW

I hate having a crush on someone you don't get to see or talk to everyday.
& I hate the fact that hewould never acknowledge me. Ever.

Never Ever.

Ever.

-Kris, the hopless romantic loser.

MOTHERFUCKERS.

School.

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 11:48:50 GMT

Well it is aprox. 6:45 in the morning. I'm off to School... doesn't it just sound like some much fun?

my life is kind of boring right now... and I am offically neglected relationship wise.

Battle of the Bands = 5 days.

xoxox Kris, the loser.